let me live.....

“O mother” , why did you give birth to me? If you did so, then why did you marry me to a stranger? O mother was I a burden on you, if not so then why didn’t you allow me to enjoy my childhood? You know mom, he beats me daily, abuses me verbally and what not he forces himself on me…mom…I hate my life with him. I want to be free of this relationship. I don’t understand all this. I am not asking you anything except food for two times and clothes to wear. Mom…I just need this… mom…I want separation… I request you for this……..mom you always said that you loved me. Mom if really you loved me then why did you send me away from you .mom….my each night is like a hell….that stranger doesn’t allow me to go anywhere, he doesn’t even allow me to play with other friends..he verbally assaults me… he drinks n beats me regularly with a whip…..i always call you to save me..But you don’t come..Why mother?




It pains me a lot when he whips me. i cry every night ……… ..i call you first…then god…but both of you have become so cold-blooded that you both now don’t hear my cry….mom have you become deaf? mom why have you closed your eyes? why cant you see the tears in my eyes?....mom..what has happened to you??? mom think of those times when playing with my friends if I had got a minor injury…….you used to get troubled….whenever I cried, you used to comfort me….now when I cry n call you….you don’t even pay a little attention to it…..mom..Why have you become so unkind to me…..

Mom..People say..that I am going to become a mother….mom…..it pains me a lot..i want to get free of it…..mom..i am still…11-12.yr old …mom..i feel the agony when I carry so much of weight on me…mom..i don’t want this….those people ask to me work like a donkey. I don’t like it.mom when I refuse them, they beat me......my life has become a misery….


Mom when you married me to that person…you should have told that how my life is going to be?....that man doesn’t behave well with me….he always makes me work for him..i hate him….mom….why didn’t u tell me that how a woman become pregnant….i would have run away from that house….i would have happily lived somewhere else….. why didn’t you make me aware of my married life?.......

Mom people say we are poor .mom is being born in a poor family a curse ?if not, then why people say so?.....mom are we not human beings….why this world looks at us like this….why don’t they understand that even we have dreams….why there is so much of inequality in this world………mom why all things happen to us only?


Mother am I a curse on you?..is being a daughter a curse on parents? mom I want to live freely….i want to go to school..i want to become something..i want to take you out of poverty…I want freedom .i want to touch the sky.......Mom I beg you my childhood…i ask u for my life..i beseech you a pardon for a being a daughter..mom…I plead you to give me my childhood ….mom I want to play with others….mom listen to me….…don’t be so brutal …..listen to my heart and feelings…listen to me……..mom where are you….. please ..mom......i plead for my childhood, I want to live happily….i hate that man..i hate my life with him………make me free……I want to fly……I want to …………..

..........

do dilon ko ek bandhan me bandhe use pyaar kahte hai,
bina kahe nigahon se baya ho use ikraar kahte hai,

dur jakar jab milne ki aas jage to use pyass kahte hai,


jab bhook bhi na lage aur pyass bhi jajayda lage to..
samaj lena..use.......dehydration kahte hai.............
jauo jake ORS PEELO.......munne....

:):)

na koi khusi hai,
na hai koi fermaish...

hame hai bus unse ,
ak bar milne ki khwaish!

sochte hai kya bahana kare unse milne ka,
jise vo chah kar bhi mana na kar payein!!
ab bus karte hai unse milne ki duayain!!!

Bolo..bolo....

This is one of the social issues that i strongly feel about. I have tried to express my thoughts in the best possible way that i could but i am interested to know what you think....feel free to share ..

kya shaadi ki jaroorat,
sirf ladki ko hoti hai,
agar nahi to phir ladko ko,
kyo dhan ki chaht hoti hai.


kitna tyag karti hai ak ladki,
kya tumne kabhi socha hai,
tumhe kya pata appna ghar,
tyag dene ka dukh kya hota hai.


kisi ki beti lakar,
tum koi ahasan nahi karte,
kachra nahi kisi ke ghar ka,
jo tum apne ghar me bharte.


kyo is tarah apne app ko,
bikauio bana dete ho,
insaan ho tum apne kam se,
her vo cheej hasil kar sakte ho.


kisi pita ke dil ka tukda,
vo bhi tumhe dhan samet chaiye,
bolo, bolo..ankhir kyo tumhe dahej chaiye....

MAA.............

Kyo tu itni dur hai ma,
Kya tu mujse naraj hai ma,
Pass apne bulale ma,
Gale mujhe lagale ma,

Aanchal hai tera bada ma,
Mujhe usme chupale ma,
Apni mamta ki ye anmol daulat
tu Mujhpe lutade ma,

Apne seene se muje laga kar,
Sur per mere hath fer kar,
Mathe ko mere chum kar,
Jannat tu dikhlade ma,
Phir se gale lagale ma………

In love..............

When, a couple falls in love with each other. The first year passes in dreaming about each other, talking on phone, visiting all the parks, theaters, restaurants in the city. And the talks will be like
Boy:..i love you….i love you..he will keep upon saying all this to girl…..and the girl will smile from inside but thoda bhav kahne ke chakker me ..she doesn’t say I love you..as many times as he says….
Girl: she will smile at him, look down but will not say…….untill the guy ……request to her ……..
Boy:…so.. …..on phone…….…this continuous….bolo..na…i….L…….u..
Girl : ..I……A ..gap..of few minutes…..love…..again a gap…..you……bechare ladke ka to bura hal ho jata hai..ye sunne ke chakker me…….but they enjoy it,….whatever he says…..she follows….that way…...
And the whole year passes in doing all this…
When they enter in second year, they meet at one boring place…..(as they have already visited all the places, parks and restaurants. they don’t have any other place to go)...…all the sweet talk interest them no more…they no more request to each other to say I love You…..because now they have got habituated to say this. ..They sit at one place, where they meet and discuss about their daily routine…and in between all that…

A sautan comes in the form of tsunami (may be guys ex girl friend or. may be his..just friend whom he has become close in recent days..but for her-…its like tsunami wave .…..that has generated the series of earthquakes in their life)
The girl becomes over possessive about the guy when she comes to know..that the girl is his ex girlfriend and her boyfriend has met her recently…
The sweet talks turn to salty talks,..
Boy:…why the hell you always doubt me……she is just a friend of mine…..dam….(he shouts angrily)..i love u….you get that(pointing a finger towards her……)
She:…you have cheated me…I never though that you will do this to me…..bla..bla…
If the guy is honest enough the talks will end here…… but if he has really done something….wrong…..
Then….one more drama begins…….provided the sautan is also in the same college…These both girls meet…….......talk all nonsense…vo mera hai…….......the present girlfriend complains about the ex to his bf and ask him choose one of them..
Girl:……I am leaving you…..either she or me….
Boy:..please....don’t leave me,…he cries,..i love u..only…......that was my mistake…he feels sorry…..he cries…a lot….…..(yeah guys cry….when they honestly love someone …and when they have done a mistake…...)the girl softens her stand ..….these three meet at one place…......and finally after generating so many earth quakes the EX…disappears....
Second year gets over in this fashion…..

Third year…..
This time the guy turns Possessive about his girlfriend,…and he doubts his girlfriend’s ….Batch mate or…her colleagues ,..
So talks this time will be…(though the girl is still as pure as snow…..…he buzz her….saying hi..she is busy …so he again types. a message…saying…
You must be busy..with your new boy friend…when she looks at the chat box..feels happy…and say hey hi…when did u come ,.
He:…nakhre mat kao..i know...…you are busy with..someone….
She: hey kesi baate karte ho….i am working….i love u………jannu.....
He:..i know….you don’t love me anymore…because you have got someone else…..
Girl..she gets angry…and says.....shut up……...i guess…tum bore ho gaye mujhse isliye asi baate karte ho……..
He:……haan pata hai….kon bore ho gaya hai….....tum ki me…….after all ab rahul jo hai tumhare pass….a taunt…
She:….i hate you…......dam..u don’t trust me….send all sad smilies to him….he..doesn't even notice and log out….
Pure saal bher ..this nauntki continuous……
Fourth year:……since this a is true story………so I know..only about three years…..still waiting what will happen..in fourth year….(fourth year has just started………..

:(:(:(:

From last few days, I have become so self-oocupied that I have stopped interacting with people. I have almost stopped calling my friends and my family members. Either I call them when I see their sms on my mobile or when they call me and say that call me. Infect I do not give any importance if someone gives me a miscall also. I don’t know why I have become like this. With Friends I am still in touch via internet but with family members I am not. In last three month i have scarcely made any calls except to few people whom I have to communicate on daily basis. Infect I did not make any call to my best friend also, and I did not open my yahoo account for several days. It was only today morning when I got up & I felt like checking my yahoo mail, and when I opened it I saw 109 unread mails. I started reading them, though few of them were not of any importance But many of them in the form of complains from my friends, (especially my college friends whom I have given my yahoo id only), which I never open. In between all these, one day my mobile stopped functioning, I did even bother to get it repaired because I felt that I don’t need it. I felt that I don’t need to have a phone. Every one who has to contact me can call me on my alternative numbers otherwise they need not to. Now what I forgot in that time was that I have not given my alternative number any of my friends. But at that time I was so angry with my self that I simply did not want to talk anyone. I got busy in my own world in my room with my computer. I did not talk to my dad for several days. Whenever he use to call I never pick his call. I don’t know why…..and it was only my dad who once tried to talk to me and when he rang up. The call was diverted. He got furious.. He called me immediately and asked me about my phone. He yelled at me and asked to get it repaired immediately. He knew that I will never go. So he strictly asked our security personal to do it. Well the phone got repaired but still I did not make any calls. Though I send some sms but I did not have affection towards my cell phone which I use to have when I was in my college. …well in that dilemma I also forgot to make calls to my grand parents even after the jaipur blast also, as mom called them and told me that everyone is safe, though the site of blast was only few meters away from my house. A week after, this Tuesday morning no one was at my home when my land line phone rang up I went to receive the phone, the caller cut it. I did not even bother to see the number also. I went to upstairs leaving my mobile in my room and when I came back there were 32 missed call from my neighbors phone. I ignored these many missed call also. after 10 mintues he again called me…..when I picked the phone…
I started with scolding.: why the hell were you giving me miss call….
He(my neighbour ): urgent baat hai..mummy kaha hai..

Me: mummy nahi hai yaha jo bolna hai mujhe bol do….

He:….tumahre gher me cylinder phat gaya hai…your grand father and uncle jal gaye….

Me: kya bol rahe ho..(we don’t have good relation with their family so I though he must be annoying me…..our relations are so bad that we don’t even go to each other houses)

He: haan…..you grand ma was working in kitchen…..suddenly this took place…dadaji and uncle bachane ke liye gaye..to grand ma safe hai…but vo dono bahut jal gaye..mere papa..unko hospital leker gaye hai..appake gher ne koi nahi hai….to mene soch aapko call kar du…per balance nahi tha..sirf 2 ruiye the…aapko miss call kiya apne uthaya nahi..mene abhi mobile me card dalwaya tab aapse phone kar rahahoon..

Me: …..i could nt utter a single word for sometime….ohhhhh my god……….how is my dadji and uncle right now

He: I don’t know…but there is no one from your family here…and I don’t think if anyone of them will come…..your other uncle and aunt are far away….your other aunt is also out of station…..i don’t know if anyone is there to take care of them….right now
my mom n dad are with them…we don’t have your dad’s number..if u can give me his number..i will call…

me: no need I will call him…n give your number..but please take care of them…please…please..dad will call you in 10 mintues…….is my grand ma also with them??..can I make a call to her..

he: yes you can…..she is carrying her cell phone…

me:..ohh..thanku…..thanku…..i am so sorry…I am so sorry..i tht..u are annoying me…..i am so sorry..and thanks a tonne to you and your family…….bbye…..
I called my mom n dad and informed about it. After that I called my grand mother..( I was calling to her after a gap of three month)

Hello ma kesi hai….dadaji and chacha kese hai…

Ma: beta..doctor ke dekh rahe hai..aut tu bata kesi hai…….tere se baat kiye hue kitne din ho gaye…tu o bhul gyi hai..tere liye to dadadadi hai hi nahi….

Me:I felt like crying..nahi asa nahi hai ma……

ME: nahi ….beta…aaj cylinder path gaya to tu phone kar rahi hai….tu aur tere papa ak jese hai…..kabhi yad hi nahi aati tum doni hamari…..tum log her bar jaipur aate ho….jahunjhunu nahi aa sakte……jab hum mar jaye tab to aaogi..na..tu aur tere papa ko sath lana…

Me:…….ase mat bolo..me aaugi aapse milne…..jarror..ma…..aur papa bhi aayege…..papa..ko to job hi asa hai..unko chuutiya hi nahi milti..
Ma:…haan……last 3 sallo…..chuttiya nahi….beta…….me janti hon…ab tumhe hamari jarrorat nahi hai….
Me: ma plese……I started crying..,,I don’t know……why…….i cried for 10 min..on the phone…….i wanted to say lot of things but could nt utter a single word………I was never like this…what happen to me in last two three months that I have become like this…ohhh..god..why I did not make a single call..to them…..this year when I went to jaipur..why didn’t I go to meet my grandparents……they are not far away…only 3 hours journey………..all these thoughts occupied my mind……

Ma:…le….ur grand pa wants to talk to u…..

He:..hello beta kese ho…..aap….
Me:..app kese hai pahle..aap baatye…..

He:…jayada kuch nahi hua beta..tu pareshan mat ho…..thodi se jale hai….
.
Me:…per app thek hai na…….
He:..haan beta..aapne call kiya….mere liye vahi khusi hai……..ki meri sabse pyarri poti ko me yad aa gya……ab dekhna me theek ho jauga………..aap to rone lag jate hai……..faltu mehi…..after all meri priynka Gandhi hai…..soniya kesi hai hai(he has given these names to me and my mom..)..aap bus haste hue hi acchi lagti ho…..hsate raha karo beta……choti choti cheese hoti rahti hai…ab jor se has do..phone per..itna rone ke bad……

Me:……laughing in intervals…….haan dadaji…..i am sorry I didn’t make you any call in last three months..i am really sorry but from now I will call u twice a week..this is my promise….pakka..aap jaldi se theek ho jauo….me papa ko bol kar yaha bula lei honn…
He:…theek hai beta..ab app….chita mat karo..aur teri dadi ma to pagal…hai………inki bato ka dhayn mat dena..

Me:…haan..bbye ddadji….take care……

After this call I did not feel good for whole day……I felt guilty…..i felt if I have done something wrong…I could not do anything…on that day..i was simply laying on my bed .I cried a lot…I don’t know why………I don’t know why my behavior changed in these two three months…what happened to me…I thought a lot on that day….but I felt happy after talking to my grand parents…but I wasn’t happy too..i don’t Know but somewhere inside I was feeling very bad……………I called them 23 times on that day…..but still her words echo…in my ears…tum log..ko hamri jaroorat nahi hai…….:(