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From last few days, I have become so self-oocupied that I have stopped interacting with people. I have almost stopped calling my friends and my family members. Either I call them when I see their sms on my mobile or when they call me and say that call me. Infect I do not give any importance if someone gives me a miscall also. I don’t know why I have become like this. With Friends I am still in touch via internet but with family members I am not. In last three month i have scarcely made any calls except to few people whom I have to communicate on daily basis. Infect I did not make any call to my best friend also, and I did not open my yahoo account for several days. It was only today morning when I got up & I felt like checking my yahoo mail, and when I opened it I saw 109 unread mails. I started reading them, though few of them were not of any importance But many of them in the form of complains from my friends, (especially my college friends whom I have given my yahoo id only), which I never open. In between all these, one day my mobile stopped functioning, I did even bother to get it repaired because I felt that I don’t need it. I felt that I don’t need to have a phone. Every one who has to contact me can call me on my alternative numbers otherwise they need not to. Now what I forgot in that time was that I have not given my alternative number any of my friends. But at that time I was so angry with my self that I simply did not want to talk anyone. I got busy in my own world in my room with my computer. I did not talk to my dad for several days. Whenever he use to call I never pick his call. I don’t know why…..and it was only my dad who once tried to talk to me and when he rang up. The call was diverted. He got furious.. He called me immediately and asked me about my phone. He yelled at me and asked to get it repaired immediately. He knew that I will never go. So he strictly asked our security personal to do it. Well the phone got repaired but still I did not make any calls. Though I send some sms but I did not have affection towards my cell phone which I use to have when I was in my college. …well in that dilemma I also forgot to make calls to my grand parents even after the jaipur blast also, as mom called them and told me that everyone is safe, though the site of blast was only few meters away from my house. A week after, this Tuesday morning no one was at my home when my land line phone rang up I went to receive the phone, the caller cut it. I did not even bother to see the number also. I went to upstairs leaving my mobile in my room and when I came back there were 32 missed call from my neighbors phone. I ignored these many missed call also. after 10 mintues he again called me…..when I picked the phone…
I started with scolding.: why the hell were you giving me miss call….
He(my neighbour ): urgent baat hai..mummy kaha hai..

Me: mummy nahi hai yaha jo bolna hai mujhe bol do….

He:….tumahre gher me cylinder phat gaya hai…your grand father and uncle jal gaye….

Me: kya bol rahe ho..(we don’t have good relation with their family so I though he must be annoying me…..our relations are so bad that we don’t even go to each other houses)

He: haan…..you grand ma was working in kitchen…..suddenly this took place…dadaji and uncle bachane ke liye gaye..to grand ma safe hai…but vo dono bahut jal gaye..mere papa..unko hospital leker gaye hai..appake gher ne koi nahi hai….to mene soch aapko call kar du…per balance nahi tha..sirf 2 ruiye the…aapko miss call kiya apne uthaya nahi..mene abhi mobile me card dalwaya tab aapse phone kar rahahoon..

Me: …..i could nt utter a single word for sometime….ohhhhh my god……….how is my dadji and uncle right now

He: I don’t know…but there is no one from your family here…and I don’t think if anyone of them will come…..your other uncle and aunt are far away….your other aunt is also out of station…..i don’t know if anyone is there to take care of them….right now
my mom n dad are with them…we don’t have your dad’s number..if u can give me his number..i will call…

me: no need I will call him…n give your number..but please take care of them…please…please..dad will call you in 10 mintues…….is my grand ma also with them??..can I make a call to her..

he: yes you can…..she is carrying her cell phone…

me:..ohh..thanku…..thanku…..i am so sorry…I am so sorry..i tht..u are annoying me…..i am so sorry..and thanks a tonne to you and your family…….bbye…..
I called my mom n dad and informed about it. After that I called my grand mother..( I was calling to her after a gap of three month)

Hello ma kesi hai….dadaji and chacha kese hai…

Ma: beta..doctor ke dekh rahe hai..aut tu bata kesi hai…….tere se baat kiye hue kitne din ho gaye…tu o bhul gyi hai..tere liye to dadadadi hai hi nahi….

Me:I felt like crying..nahi asa nahi hai ma……

ME: nahi ….beta…aaj cylinder path gaya to tu phone kar rahi hai….tu aur tere papa ak jese hai…..kabhi yad hi nahi aati tum doni hamari…..tum log her bar jaipur aate ho….jahunjhunu nahi aa sakte……jab hum mar jaye tab to aaogi..na..tu aur tere papa ko sath lana…

Me:…….ase mat bolo..me aaugi aapse milne…..jarror..ma…..aur papa bhi aayege…..papa..ko to job hi asa hai..unko chuutiya hi nahi milti..
Ma:…haan……last 3 sallo…..chuttiya nahi….beta…….me janti hon…ab tumhe hamari jarrorat nahi hai….
Me: ma plese……I started crying..,,I don’t know……why…….i cried for 10 min..on the phone…….i wanted to say lot of things but could nt utter a single word………I was never like this…what happen to me in last two three months that I have become like this…ohhh..god..why I did not make a single call..to them…..this year when I went to jaipur..why didn’t I go to meet my grandparents……they are not far away…only 3 hours journey………..all these thoughts occupied my mind……

Ma:…le….ur grand pa wants to talk to u…..

He:..hello beta kese ho…..aap….
Me:..app kese hai pahle..aap baatye…..

He:…jayada kuch nahi hua beta..tu pareshan mat ho…..thodi se jale hai….
.
Me:…per app thek hai na…….
He:..haan beta..aapne call kiya….mere liye vahi khusi hai……..ki meri sabse pyarri poti ko me yad aa gya……ab dekhna me theek ho jauga………..aap to rone lag jate hai……..faltu mehi…..after all meri priynka Gandhi hai…..soniya kesi hai hai(he has given these names to me and my mom..)..aap bus haste hue hi acchi lagti ho…..hsate raha karo beta……choti choti cheese hoti rahti hai…ab jor se has do..phone per..itna rone ke bad……

Me:……laughing in intervals…….haan dadaji…..i am sorry I didn’t make you any call in last three months..i am really sorry but from now I will call u twice a week..this is my promise….pakka..aap jaldi se theek ho jauo….me papa ko bol kar yaha bula lei honn…
He:…theek hai beta..ab app….chita mat karo..aur teri dadi ma to pagal…hai………inki bato ka dhayn mat dena..

Me:…haan..bbye ddadji….take care……

After this call I did not feel good for whole day……I felt guilty…..i felt if I have done something wrong…I could not do anything…on that day..i was simply laying on my bed .I cried a lot…I don’t know why………I don’t know why my behavior changed in these two three months…what happened to me…I thought a lot on that day….but I felt happy after talking to my grand parents…but I wasn’t happy too..i don’t Know but somewhere inside I was feeling very bad……………I called them 23 times on that day…..but still her words echo…in my ears…tum log..ko hamri jaroorat nahi hai…….:(