Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Om Jai "MAhara Ve" hare.....

In olden days women by no means used to take their husband’s name as they thought it will reduce their husband’s age and one amongst such thinkers is my grand mother. She never went to school and doesn’t know English; however she manages to converse in Hindi with high influence of our local lingo. The one thing about that I always wonder is her relationship with my grandfather, who is in comparison to her, is very highly educated and a fairly well-known lawyer in our locale. The way she handled her relationship with him till now, is to some extent startling to me as the educational and thoughts divergence is very wide, nevertheless they mutually never made it apparent to anybody and are still at all times spotted in cheerfulness. Her thought of not taking her husband’s name is deficient in scientific substantiations in my perception and none of us will be in agreement with it as well, but still I believe that it is just her belief- individual belief- and an individual belief doesn’t require anyone’s favor.
It is about few months back when I visited my hometown, and got a chance to stay with my grandmother for few days. All the members of my family circle are so sluggish that scarcely any one wakes up in the early hours in the morning excluding my grand mother and she gets up at 5 “o clock” in the dawn. Someday I too woke up at the time when she was performing her puja. I started listening to her attentively and after few minutes I couldn’t stop myself to burst into earsplitting laughter.
She sang the arti in this way:

Om jai mahaare ve hare,
Swami jai mahaare ve hare
Bhakt jano ke sankat, daas jano ke sankat
Kshan mein door kare, om jai mahaare ve hare.

Actually this happened because my grand father’s middle name is jagdish , so she avoided it in the arti too and sang the whole arti in the above manner. Mahaara ve means mere vo (she meant).

Her determined thought of not to take her husband’s name rose lot of complicatedness in her way, but she on no account changed her mind. Years back, ahead of the introduction of voting machine when the elections were held, one day she went to polling booth to cast her vote, the candidate whom my dadaji asked her to vote was named as “jagdish parsad”. On reaching to polling booth she asked the voting booth moderator like this: aap mere ko batauio ki me “mahaare ve” Prasad ko kese vote karu..?

Thursday, July 3, 2008

let me live.....

“O mother” , why did you give birth to me? If you did so, then why did you marry me to a stranger? O mother was I a burden on you, if not so then why didn’t you allow me to enjoy my childhood? You know mom, he beats me daily, abuses me verbally and what not he forces himself on me…mom…I hate my life with him. I want to be free of this relationship. I don’t understand all this. I am not asking you anything except food for two times and clothes to wear. Mom…I just need this… mom…I want separation… I request you for this……..mom you always said that you loved me. Mom if really you loved me then why did you send me away from you .mom….my each night is like a hell….that stranger doesn’t allow me to go anywhere, he doesn’t even allow me to play with other friends..he verbally assaults me… he drinks n beats me regularly with a whip…..i always call you to save me..But you don’t come..Why mother?

It pains me a lot when he whips me. i cry every night ……… ..i call you first…then god…but both of you have become so cold-blooded that you both now don’t hear my cry….mom have you become deaf? mom why have you closed your eyes? why cant you see the tears in my eyes?....mom..what has happened to you??? mom think of those times when playing with my friends if I had got a minor injury…….you used to get troubled….whenever I cried, you used to comfort me….now when I cry n call you….you don’t even pay a little attention to it…..mom..Why have you become so unkind to me…..

Mom..People say..that I am going to become a mother….mom…..it pains me a lot..i want to get free of it…..mom..i am still…11-12.yr old …mom..i feel the agony when I carry so much of weight on me…mom..i don’t want this….those people ask to me work like a donkey. I don’t like it.mom when I refuse them, they beat me......my life has become a misery….

Mom when you married me to that person…you should have told that how my life is going to be?....that man doesn’t behave well with me….he always makes me work for him..i hate him….mom….why didn’t u tell me that how a woman become pregnant….i would have run away from that house….i would have happily lived somewhere else….. why didn’t you make me aware of my married life?.......

Mom people say we are poor .mom is being born in a poor family a curse ?if not, then why people say so?.....mom are we not human beings….why this world looks at us like this….why don’t they understand that even we have dreams….why there is so much of inequality in this world………mom why all things happen to us only?

Mother am I a curse on you?..is being a daughter a curse on parents? mom I want to live freely….i want to go to school..i want to become something..i want to take you out of poverty…I want freedom .i want to touch the sky.......Mom I beg you my childhood…i ask u for my life..i beseech you a pardon for a being a daughter..mom…I plead you to give me my childhood ….mom I want to play with others….mom listen to me….…don’t be so brutal …..listen to my heart and feelings…listen to me……..mom where are you….. please ..mom......i plead for my childhood, I want to live happily….i hate that man..i hate my life with him………make me free……I want to fly……I want to …………..